The Small and Simple Things!

     

     John M. Gottman is a revolutionary when it comes to offering wise words of wisdom and methods that are meant to strengthen marriages. I have enjoyed reading his book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" because I have realized that his advice is very useful and and easy to understand. From this week's reading, I read about Gottman's principle of how important it is for couples to work toward coming close together rather than pushing away from each other. From this week's reading I loved the following quote: "Hollywood has dramatically distorted our notions of romance and what makes passion burn...real-life romance is fueled by a far more humdrum approach to staying connected. It is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of everyday life" (79-80). I love this quote because what I got out of it is that the secret to making your marriage stronger is to intimacy between spouses is find in the simple, everyday things, not the Hollywood-grade romance moments. 

      I thought of the scripture Alma 37:6 while I was reading Gottman's advice. Alma 37:6 says "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." As I though about Alma's and Gottman's words, I began to think about how this relates to my own marriage. What I have come to realize is that some of the happiest moments in my marriage have been the simplest ones. For example, house cleaning. My wife and I usually do the housecleaning on Saturdays. She and I work together to get the chores done and as we work together, I cannot hep but feel happy because it makes me feel like she and I are equals in our relationship. In these simplest of moments, I have learned to appreciate my wife for everything she does for our marriage.

       Simplicity is an important factor in marriage because you learn to rely on each other. Co-dependence is important in marriage because if one partner is the leader and the other follows behind, then the marriage is going to suffer. Simplicity encourages co-dependence because it helps couples learn to wholly rely on each other without using emotional crutches. This trust also helps couples to deepen their love and mutual respect.